Labels: stolen love
Just one day before I'm going to graduate, I made a terrible mistake which really affected me for this one whole week-my mood. I broke the school rules..something to do with integrity. Even though I didn't carry out the action but deeply in my mind at that instant I did have that thought and my worst mistake is that I didn't stop my friends.
I promised in my heart that I'll protect her, I'll help her as long as I'm able to. But I didn't know that I ended up bringing harm to her. Now.. it's to late to revive. YES..We are wrong.. I feel so shameful and guilty for having such thought.. I detest myself for not doing anything to stop all these from happening.. Now that we've gotten our punishment but I seriously think that it's my fault for not standing firm and bringing her out from that attempt we had. (haix..no one will understand this kind of feeling....)
In hindsight, I feel so helpless and a bit perplex. I wanted to find someone to talk awhile but still i turn to my walls in my room. I recalled back in yr one..when that tragedy happened and I was so lost and frighten that I needed someone badly to talk to but then I locked myself up in my room for days. Back in yr 2 when I once again in a situation where I have to make hard decisions... again I turned to my walls.
Now? History repeats. That person you're always thinking of still wasn't there at all. He didn't... he wasn't there. After so many yrs, he has never been there at all. I should have knew it in the first place..right from the start. Time has proven to me that is really time to let go. I'm always alone. But no worries, I'm a strong and independent girl. I can.. I know I'll always be strong.
Truly no one is indispensable.