Labels: move on
At the nadir of my life in MI, i learned that nothing is certain. Everything varies, so much so that i myself have to admit that I'm no other than a human being-so small, useless and helpless.
That which does not kill me make me strong.
(Frederick Nietzsche)
I thought that I'm being used to this kind of unspeakable feelings. It turns out that I'm not. While u're crying bitterly, he might be enjoining his life. He wont bother, coz u have been forgotten. This is a cruel fact that one has to accept in order to free him/herself.
I'm afraid all that I've establish will turn into vain and my fears will hunt me once again. And never will i forget the nightmare i had which last for more than 2 months. I vaguely rmb wat i did to release my agony. But i rmb clearly how it feels like.
Once bitten twice shy. I'd nv make e same mistake again!
At least it had transform me into a more realistic person, whom now cares more for my own welfare and nothing else. I wouldn't mind using any unorthodox methods juz to get what i want.
I know I've make a cynical remark, anyway this world is full of baddies. That's human, isn't it?
Labels: move on
I got a terrible feeling that something bad is gonna happen. Umm i still cldnt detect what is it about..but is definitely something serious. "DTTM" that's e most common ans u can get from your friends. Lol no one believe it-my hunch, for long term it always happen.
Goodbye to bitterness, and welcome sourness. I can do the sweetening job myself. I add colour to my own life, take charges on the direction I'm sailing and i think i deserve more!
I found my own charm, charisma and myself.
Some said that I'm nonchalant.
Some said that I'm talkative.
Even I cldnt differentiate which is truly me.
Ammm nvm, it's still me after all. zzz
Hmmm to sum up, ltr on i'm attending cca outing at dont neo where. Hopefully it will end in a gd way. Night photography, shld be a thriling one.
O i love e sun today, stay hot!
Some photos took during CIP trip at kranji beach ytd.
IT STINKS!
AT WORK
JUZ TRYIN TO MAKE FUN OUT OF IT
MY LOVELY CLASSMATES
WE FOUND TIS SWEET LITTLE FLOWER AMONG ALL THE RUBBISH
Labels: move on
Starry starry night, paint your palette blue and grey.. That's how e song goes.
I plan to re-charge myself during this one wk holiday, however gastralgia and diarrhoea broke out. It's been 5 days! How long more muz i suffer?
Have you ever tried walking in the rain(umbrella)and yet feeling cosy? I was walking down the road(10 mins walk)from the bus stop to my house. Ummm is kind of hard to describe.. everythings seems to be there for the sake of u, with Kenny G-forever in love's music in ur ears. It was a perfect match! Gd times don't last long, a van drove pass and drenched me to the skin. (i curse the driver of course)
Continue with my jounery, i began to think of my lowest peak (Nov&Dec'07). Juz like these few days, it was raining non-stop. Everyday seems to be hopeless and lifeless. Losing a frenz is worst than losing anyone else, esp there's only one true frenz. Fortunately, i manage to survive. My sadness was eased whenever i think of the setback faced in that period. In comparison with losing ur kin, my worries and troubles become insignificant. 活在当下.. these four words always appear in my mind,
I take things easliy.
Rmb back at those time, i was torturing myself. Silly me, i could have let go and free myself, but persistence blind my eyes. Now, i dislike raining day. Still, i'm feeling blue, somehow i try my very best to cry, perhaps it has alrdy dried up long ago.
Humans are afraid of loneliness, it's human nature. Dont blame yourself if u're one of them. I feel no emptiness! Probably, it's a make up for things that i've lost. I now dare to stand alone in the bus stop and every single corner in the sch. I even yearn for a moment of silence. In this forlorn institute, i have to back up in order to make myself worthly. I dont care whether am i worthly or wothless in other people's eyes. Inferiority hunts me no more.
If you felt that something is missing in your life, i believed that it is replaceable. Solitude may not be a bad thing, at least i've embark myself on the journey on searching for a secluded life.
Labels: move on
It started raining at 12 noon plus, it seems that my agony has return. I really thought that i've been doing well, at least i've tried my best. But..
Disappoinment taught me a lesson, learn to become a stronger person. At the very least, i can still carry on with my life normally. I wonder what have i done wrong. All i ask for is to live without disturbance and irritation. Every diff day with diff disturbance, nvm.. i learned how to ignore. I dont owe anyone an explaination do i?
My "gd" frenz (gastralgia) came to find me 2 days ago, tat's e punishment for not eating regularly i guess. Well, i nv learn..so i'll continue my unhealthly lifestlye.
283 days passed. I told myself, i'l spend at most 365 days to think of you. I shld be feeling happy coz is juz another 82 days to go. I'll be fine, definitely. I shld have embark on my journey to search for my goals in life. Well,obstacles hinder my progression... i'll eventually become immune to it, hopefully.
Zz..my ankle is still aching..
Labels: move on
Dont ever doubt or question me. YES. This is how i live my life. Ever since stepping into this BIG sch, my life changed. I know it is getting worst-my habits, lifestyle and my logic.
My cycle, wake up at 630am, reach sch at 8am. Having lesson all the way 4pm-5pm plus. Reach home at before 7pm(hopefully), bath and eat and it's alrdy 8pm plus.
start doing my hw and revision at 9pm and that's it all the way to 11pm plus. Then lights off. (this cycle goes on n nv stop)! Seriously, i enjoy it.
LIMITATION: I hv to give up my HK drama..that's worst than asking me to be on diet. Sacrificing my favourite past time, i indulge in my "studying world"-procrastination & hibernation. Well, that's fine with me.. i can ENDURE.
HOWEVER, i wish to highlight something-my beliefs, my faith. Ammm i'm not touching on any religion. Juz trying to live my own life and hoping tis 2 yrs will pass very soon. BUT, why is it so difficult?
I believe that things that r not meant for u, u shldnt be too persistent abt it.
I give up on searching and waiting and i move on. All i hope is to live without any disturbance and irritation. (is that too much to ask for?)
Pls.. pity me on this piece. Let me off and i'll be able to free myself.