Labels: move on
MYE is in 3 wks plus time and I've been slacking for the past 1 wk! LOl.. i think i deserve it. Since last yr Nov & Dec holiday, i hasn't been resting (bcoz of...), CNY rushing for common test (the result is still not bad)then stil hv to travel so far to visit my grandfather... March holiday.. I'm sick for e whole wk, some more hv to go back to sch for cca.. Zzz
Hahaha i hasn't been stepping out of my house for days..(i love it)
Basically, slp, eat, stone, watch tv, play com, nap (being a slacker) is my dream ever since sch starts. It has been realised.. so is time to MUG!!!!
I'm fully charged.
P.S: but i haven watch my drama leh...sobx
Labels: move on
In MI, there's a birthday trend. The birthday song cld be heard almost everyday, but I find it discordant. Somehow, i think i got a phobia to celebrate birthday. For many yrs, i've been celebrating it alone (tat's fine wif me..reali). However, i cant imagine that things can actually turn worst.
Looking back, juz after last yr promo ex. Something happened which makes me realise how fragile life can be and e sudden lost of friendship petrifies me. I felt so helpless coz i cant do anything to reduce ur pain. Xiu jing n i sat at the stadium, an unspeakable pain inside my heart suffocates me.
It wasnt a gd timing either. Why muz it be during our A lvl spa n why muz it occur near our birthday.. I tot 18th bd are supposed to be a worth celebrating day in one's life yet it had become one of my hatred day. Lots of negative thinking appeared in my mind, i became paranoid. I'm so afraid tat all those happy moments we once shared wld be gone forever.
I tried to seek for comfort..but it doesnt really help. That two and a half mnths was the longest nightmare that i nv ever wanna even think of it.
Finally, sch starts. Everything seems to be back to normal. From then til now, 6 mnths has passed. I believe u hv manage to survive, so do i. We r still able to eat and slp.. though e sch food sux and tons of homework waiting for us.
One's endurance and e will to overcome setback are something worth learning. oO ya.. I've not yet express my gratitude to my friends who have been by my side during that two and a half mnths. Thanks to all who sent their greetings on my birthday. A big thank u to e one who "dragged" me out of my house and watched 2 movies wif me (nv will i forget how anxious u r when u lost ur wallet).
Today..
i went to rent drama(finally). Go visit my aunt's grandchildren..(that 2 adorable twins).
Schedule for e mnth..
2,4,6 -- Econ lesson frm 9 to 12
6 -- phys lesson frm 830 to 12..(omg clash)
9-- K time wif xiu xiu! hahaha
16,17,18--- math lesson frm 830 to Zzz
Labels: move on
I've been tossing on bed last night, struggling to sort my thoughts out.
Loving someone takes up lots n lots of energy, causing me to wear off and fall sick.
How i really wish i can stay by ur side but I'm not the one u need..
I wont cry. I wont show my unhappiness. I will let go..coz I'm extremely exhausted
Gd bye, my dear.
To someone i once loved.
**************************************************
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far
*Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you
Labels: move on
Her life has been cursed, gd things nv come to her.
Parents not at hm again.
Flu, sore throat and insomnia. It's been quite sometime ever since they r here to visit her.
She really detested to be in tis state. However, she cant do anythn to change it.
I'm not letting anyone to manipulate my life. No matter how hard life is gonna be, at most i'll juz scream!
GD nite
Labels: move on
She ask her teacher abt her "future" this Monday n got revoked!
Her decision, no one agree with... everyone told her to think twice think thrice think..
Got pissed off...coz no one understood. No one ever ask why... WHY IS SHE MAKING THIS DECISION?
Now she's stuck in this dilemma..
She is feeling sleepy for e whole day.. got frustrated,brain dead, mental block and flunked her test.
Not a single piece of new info can get into her mind.
She read her teachers remark.. some r rather nice but some sux.. however watever they say r veri true.
She feel like screaming.. being rebellious for once.. go clubbing, burn all her notes.. slap n beat up those asshole who ill-treated her and confront those idiotic teachers. BUTshe cant, coz she cant! She cld only suppress herself.
In prolong, she will go insane. Perhaps e day she retain or got her A lvl cert. Everyone told her to go back ipoh.. yeah they r juz "kidding". LOl wait til they'll get their karma...she cursed.
N She neo very clearly that she's gonna be in dead meat if she continue tis way. 
She rather live in her own world.
Labels: move on
Realise that i'm rather long-winded tis wk.
Bcoz i'm really really "bu shuang"
Zz life sux when everything seems to go against you.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN...
Gd bye to active volcano, TNC and shopping. U'll be mine when i graduate.
P.S: i can add sugar myself! All i need is a medium...lol
I hate my 18th birthday.
I hate christmas
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate YOU! IF you really exist ( i doubt so), grant me some luck then! but i wld rather depend on myself. KNS
Labels: move on
我还没试过用华语blog. 这是第一分，希望下次再用华语是blog些快乐的事情.
在人的生命里，有很多很多事可以令一个人很伤心，甚至是痛心。我不知道以后还会遇到什么让我痛心疾首的事，但此时此刻，我以深深体会到这份痛。就有如万剑穿心却不见血，巨石压在胸堂上喘不过气来却又不会窒息。不是不懂，只是半清醒半迷茫。
原来我根本就没能力去改变任何东西。不管是处事或待人，学业或爱情里，我永远都只是一个路人甲，毫不起眼。尽管如此我也从没放弃过。因为我深信就算一切是注定，我也要争取。在这过程中我认识到失望所带来的厉害，它能把一个人给灰了。
我现年18岁，18年来第一次感受到戏里常说的“又爱又恨”。我爱上了摄影也恨透了他。The most recent disappointment I've encounter is...(my close frenzs shld neo) 我反复的问自己，那个位置对我来说真的那么重要吗？落选了我才知道原来不是，我想要是因为他做过。你们一定觉得我很幼稚，对把？我只是想证明他做得到的事我也能做到。
我很爱摄影，所以我最终还是留下了。 但我始终是个平凡人，我没办法一直对着我得不到的东西还得装作若无其事，于是我加入武术. 说真的，我对武术也有点性趣，只是因为我一直担心这担心哪，所以拖到现在才决定加入。
我好想好想自私一次，可是我很没用，我既感到内疚..hahahha 太可笑了。做人做到像我这么失败的，简直就不堪一提（that's y i'm always a substitute)。
我的华文老师说过无论做什么事，心境最重要。我认同！是地域还是天堂由我自己决定 (that's e only thing i can control after all i guess)。即使老天要赶绝我，相信只要我保持一颗平常心，再环的事或许也会迎刃而解。
塞翁失马焉知非福，我只能这样安慰自己。我很庆幸，虽然我爱过的，不爱我，想要的，没得到，但是我拥有的还很多。我不该只在乎我得不到的而忽略我所拥有的。朋友，你们的支持和鼓励让我感激万分。希望我人生新的一章的开始，是我知道我到底要什么的时候。