Labels: move on
Fame and wealth are just passing clouds.
Setbacks and disappointment are just snowstorm.
Misfortune and disaster are just typhoon.
Rumours are just gossipers' favourate past time.
Why pursue? why insist?
All is but.. just a gust of wind.
To me, nothing matters now.
cloudy
Rainy
sunny
Deadly
All right reserved. Took using my SLR camera.
Labels: move on
I memorize the note you sent
Go all the places that we went
I seem to search the whole day through
For anything that's part of you
I kept a ribbon from your hair
A breath of perfume lingers there
It helps to cheer me when I'm blue
Anything that's part of you
Oh, how it hurts to miss you so
When I know you don't love me anymore
To go on needing you
Knowing you don't need me
No reason left for me to live
What can I take, what can I give
When I'd give all of someone new
For anything that's part of you
Labels: move on
Hai.. how shld i start?
I was shock to hear this kind of stupid rumors spread by some bitches and asshole. Cant they juz get a life? I'm not their entertainment lol! I'm gonna say this for the last time.
Yes! I knew him thru MI dance.
Yes! We went out tgt BUT juz to buy sch uniform and xiu jing was there too lol
Yes! He asked me out to catch a movie, but i turned him down.
Yes! He did requested me to be with him, but i rejected.
THE END, it's absurd! I'm very impress that these bunch of idiots are able to say this topic for more than a yr.
Seriously, I've never felt so humiliated. How am i suppose to admit something i've not done before? That confrontation is far too much.
I'm trying very hard.. not to cry but it juz relive my hate.
This morning in the canteen.. somehow i really cant take it. That which hurt me most wasn't the rumors but friends.
I'm utterly disappointed. Well, i've a better idea who they really are.
At that moment, how i wish someone cld juz lend me a shoulder.. yet i cant find one. Sitting alone in the canteen, it was an awkward situation. So i msg Melinda, to my surprise, she reached a few mins after i msg her.
I hv this urge to tell her everything.. but i swallow it back. I know no one will understand how i feel. (this kind of humiliation..)
Sometimes i really hate myself.. Why do other always think that i'm that easy to bully? This bunch of asshole will definitely get their karma one day.
I know my stress is building up. I've to cope with two cca and 3 h2 are driving me nuts.
Forget it.. I'm gonna find some way to release it.
Hmmm fri after parents meeting and Pw, I'll be sing K with wendy.
Sat, after cca.. I'm gonna catch a movie in afternoon and watching a concert (a tale of shaolin) at esplanade at night. LOL Life still goes on.
Labels: move on
My numb-sation has been continuing for two weeks. I serious felt that i need to mug even harder now.
I love this in particular; "time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons" (Blaise Pascal)
When terrible things happened.. is not an event but a lesson. A tough lesson learnt- endure. Though months passed, memories doesn't juz fade away. YES, i rmb very clearly.. That two and a half months especially during e rainy days.
I wonder if it's bcoz I've cry too much during that period therefore there's no more tears for me to cry now. Some of my frenzs asked why does my eyes look watery.. I told a lie and said that my eyes are very sensitive.I don't know how to explain la.. The sadness seems to be innate in me and I feel like crying but tears juz wont come out.
Nothing seems to makes me happy..
I rmb I once wrote : "gd bye, to someone i once loved." I didn't get to see him for quite a few days in sch, and I feel uneasy. Surprisingly, I feel comfort instead of joy when i saw him.
True enough, I'm no longer who I am. Perhaps that's the best example for deterioration of love. Anyway I'm content just to know he is doing fine.
Studies..
Currently phys is getting tougher, I really cant cope all my 3 H2. I've mental preparation for retaining.
Labels: move on
My life can be described using these 4 words; original, simple, hectic and bitter.
And one word to describe how i feel(currently); NUMB
Using the same attitude towards everything. Nothing makes me happy and nothing makes sad. It's kind of hard to reach this level..It's simply juz too complicated. I'm not feeling lost bcoz i know what i MUST do but if u realise that everything u do doesn't tally with what u want (for my case i totally hv no idea..)then, u'll probaby understood how i feel.
I admit that i did feel a bit empty now but at least i don't feel any hate and hold any grudges.
It's hard isn't it?.. juz to live a life of urs.
Labels: move on
I'm very scare.. really.. i'm lost. I don't know how m i going to face myself. I'm utterly disappointed. I find myself so useless. Juz can't do anything rite. Am i destined to be such ill-fated?
I'm dead tired.. can anyone tell me what to do? There r lots of thing I know I don't even have the right to think abt it. But i really can't stand it. I feel insecure.. and uncertain.. I know.. i know i'm lost.
I can't even find myself. It's so tiring to live on this world. I can't find a purpose.. a reason.. I don't believe anything gd will happen on me.
I'm very scare... i don't have the courage to continue. It's no longer like e past where everything will be fine after U cry out loud and hv a gd slp..
The fact that i'm a failure.. I've lost everything that i've earned.. these are all cruel facts...
If god really do exist? why cant u juz pity me? I know.. it's my punishment......
I always ask myself.. Annie, u r living for the sake of who? If is urself.. y r u so unhappy?
我真的笑不出来。。我的人生既然悲惨这种地步！我讨厌我自己，一点长处都没有。我觉得做人很辛苦，我真的受不了。我一点也不快乐，我活得很辛苦。我不知道自己到底要什么。有时候在人前要装的若无其事。。真的很累。我要疯了！跟朋友说也没能帮到我。。我真觉得自己很没用。。
Labels: move on
I can't believe this.. A person who is down on luck can indeed be very SWAY Guess what.. I juz sprained my back while tying my shoelace! Unbelievable! Damn pain..
I gave my first time to my frenz today... n that is... bake cake hahhaha xiu.. u're lucky to be the first one. Unforgetable ya?
nite
There's a question that has been in my heart for more than 3 yrs and yet to be solved. Many times, I tired to juz forget it.. But ppl around me.. esp teachers and my parents keep reminding me. I find it rather absurd, since its is my decision then why do u still interfere? Irony..
I'm not trying to escape.. I'm juz believing in fate but not bowing to it.
The question is : WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO IN THE FUTURE?
I can't.. no matter how hard i've tried, I juz can't find a solution to this. It's been bothering me for so long and i can't sort it out!
It's worst than falling out of love.. trust me at least few mnths ltr u'll be alright. One of..or perhaps the most horrible thing to me is.. without a sense of direction.
I don't want to be told what to do. I don't want to be force to do things out of my own will. I don't want to know what's proper and what's not. 3 yrs.. It's been more than 3 yrs.. still i cant free my soul. This is still e major problem currently.
If.. anyone understood.. u'll know that it's very scary. Coz u r uncertain abt everything u do.
But stil life has to move on.. so on the mean while i shan't ill treat myself.
hahahha
Sammy 洪天照! He is damn fit, he can do push up with his whole body upside down. Shuai!
Well, who cares.. i'll drag and drag.. til one day i have to make up my mind. But no matter what, it's still bothering me.
Labels: move on
Finally, I finished all my MYE papers today. I felt a sense of relief when the teacher say time's up. I've been struggling this few days, I don't know how am I going to continue. Well I can't stop now. Suddenly the situation become very tense, so I do some soul searching..
I kept thinking.. what if I fail and I have to retain? what if I did badly for A lvl and can't get into local uni? What if what if what if... I'm dead tired
Whatever I do juz can't seems to satisfy my parents. They ain't demanding..juz that I'm not capable to do them proud. Yea, that's what I told myself. Stress? extremely.
Not only them, I think the one i couldn't face is myself. I start to detest.. detest e feeling of feeling useless. Frankly speaking, I start to find myself with no value at all.
I told myself many times.. I won't let this kind of feeling ever ever come back again. But once again.. disappointment pull me down. Perhaps the major problem lies on ME, myself. Yea.. I'm the big problem. I shld slap myself..until I wake up..right?
hai..
Recently, I'm watching a drama. 咏春
Hahaha got one of my favourite actor!
He was a cold blooded killer in this drama.
Sammy Hong tian zhao 洪天照
He is 洪金宝 third son lol
