Labels: move on
I've truly understood what does doom mean. Yes, I've met my dead end.
No one is gonna pity me (i don't need it anyway).
Yesterday:
Completely broken down and lose control, I think I'm sick.. mentally sick.
I have zero confident for almost all my papers.
I'm not being negative.. but this is really what i think and how i felt.
I'm very tired.
It took me a hard time to accept the fact that I've lose what I've fight for and yet i have to fake a smile, a laugh whenever I c them. The most irony part is they say I'm a nice frenz (yea "nice" one huh?)
When I got back home.. I tried to get some slp before I start mugging. Even at this critical moment, I CANT EVEN GET SOME PEACE!
Totally depressed, i cld no longer hold on.. i pushed everything down frm my desk then I fall and hit the floor. Tears just keep flowing as if it will nv stop.
I turn around and hit my head against the wall, one time..two time then i stopped. Trust me..it wasn't pain at all..but I know it wldnt solve the problem. Laying down staring at the ceiling.. it seems to be spinning.
Spin and spin and spin..it seems to be asking me who m i? Can I behave like a kid? Allowing me to throw my temper and run away...pls, bcoz i cant breathe.
A sharp pain deep inside my heart relive my hate. I'm trying hard to resist, not letting it to destroy me.
Perhaps I'm juz feeling stress after all.....