Labels: move on
When i was young, i love to collect musical box. The most common music found was Fur Elise. However, I don't like tis song bcoz i find it very scary. As time passed, i gain my interest n i find it pleasant to ears. That was bcoz i didn't get to hear the other half of the song until one day i got e chance to do so. From then on i know tat prefrences changed under diff situation, juz like one's character.
In pri sch, i was a soft speaker. I dare not to speak up not even if it was at my disadvantages. There was once i got accuse for something n got scolded by one of my pri sch teacher n i cried. At tat moment, I think i failed to know how to protect myself.
In sec sch, I told myself is time for a change. I spoke up and tried my very best to do well in every task I'm given with. Still, i got bullied by my classmate n once again... i cried(i think I'm juz too naive). I don't hv confidence in doing anything..I wont open my mouth to speak even if I'm posted with a qn to ans n guess wat i got for my remarks?(reticent).
Zz.. Slowly, yrs pass. My confidence fall frm zero to negative. Inferiority complex arose in all aspect. I think i'm juz a very average student with no attention given to.
No one ever realise my existence n it appears tat i'm insignificant. (I had enough of it.)
MI, a place which brings me hope n disappointment. Teachers n friends here r totally diff. Frenzs here are juz too friendly.. n in a way tat i find it fishy perhaps with hidden agenda. This place taught me how to socialise, it also put me on guards not to trust anyone so easily.
Still, i'm one with no confident. But some of the teachers here kept giving me chances to prove myself. They trust me more than ever(which r pretty diff frm my previous schs). In their eyes, I'm a polite and diligent student(found in remarks not assumed). This is e image I've set up, which i wish to maintain.
My inferiority haunts me no more when i attended e public speaking course. When i stand on e stage, i had the attention i yearn for long. Though i nv win the competition, i found my charisma.
To my parents..
I tried to be a gd girl. I don't smoke, drink and involve in any fights and disciplinary matters. I don't talk back and i follow my dad's instruction tat no dating is allowed till i graduate.
So they seldom ask me how m i doing. No matter how well or poor i did. No compliment and scolding. I can only console myself tat they trust me......
Some friends (ain't tat close) said tat I'm too polite(overdo i guess). I carry on with this concept tat if u treat others nicely so will e others. This is another image I've set up, which i wish to maintain.
However, i begin to lose myself.
The more i wanna keep something the more I'm afraid to lose it. The more i wanna prove tat I'm not worthless n stupid, the more i stress myself. I don't neo what exactly am i trying to prove..n who i want to prove to. Is it myself or e others?
No matter wat, all i want is a recognition, n i'm not resign to be a average student.