I was doing my math revision last night(everyone was asleep). Kind of like a bit bore... so I stood up and do some stretching. My room was stuffy, so I went to my living room and sat beside the window. Wah the breeze was so refreshing, the air was filled with scent of nostalgia.
Then, I remember something which I had already forgotten long ago.. Actually I once secretly admired a teacher in my sec school when i was in sec 2. hahahahha(rayy..I neo u gonna ask me who rite?)
Aaaaa... that wasn't what I want to say today.
On the 4th of Dec'07, I packed my stuff and decided to leave this place(for good). Hmmm I went to my grandma house at Ipoh.. Well I can't stand sitting in the bus for so many hours. Still, I decided to go even if i had to endure the journey(c how determined I am!)
At that moment, I hoped to go somewhere where no one knows me. Though it is a forlorn village-no much entertainment, it has the simplest way of living. No worries there, only my cousin's laughter could be heard. All I did was just sleep, eat and play.
At there I don't have to pretend. I chased dogs, anyhow throw rubbish, cycle around, scream and shout..hahahha life there was so simple.
But I know.. this kind of life doesn't suit me at all. Coz I'm a greedy girl, I won't be resign living my life like this.
Things which has happen had happen. Just like my trauma, no matter how long ago it is, the fact that it has hurt me won't change. Well, I learn how to control my emotion now..at least my tears.
Honestly, I can't cry neither can I smile. All I can do is sigh.
Actually, it shouldn't be a problem. But then... I think I have a slight phobia of making decision. Take the japan trip for instance, 50% of the reason for not going is bcoz... I don't dare to hand in the application form. hahahah absurd isn't it?
And... I have a wish since O lvl.. that is go Marina bay fly kite!! Probably I'll go there on my birthday if I have to celebrate it alone (provided that it doesn't rain) lol. + take photos.
Today
My elder bro is in hospital.. currently stil checking the problem.
I ate egg tarts(damn long nv eat, i love it man!)
Hv to get back to work...zz ARRRRRR god!
bye